Backstory to a Humor Piece: Writer Envy Helpline

How a humor piece for Electric Lit came to be

Today’s post is part of my “Writing Resources and Tips” section. This is a friendly reminder that if you are not interested in writing topics, you can adjust your subscription preferences by visiting this link and unselecting any sections that don’t interest you.

---

I tend to have more ideas for humor pieces than I have time to write, but one thing that sometimes inspires an idea for me is format.

I keep a document with a running list of potential humor formats. I regularly read satire publications and pieces from fellow humor writers, and if I see a format that I haven’t seen before (or that just generally speaks to me), I add it to the list.

When I get an idea for a satire piece, I often look through the list to see what format might fit well with that idea.

One format that I added to my list a few years ago was the helpline format — essentially a call tree helpline with a series of choices.

Initial Idea

As a writer, I am not immune to feeling envy. When you are struggling with rejections or writer’s block and your social media is full of people announcing all their writing wins it can cause some feelings.

At some point, while scrolling social media, I realized that it might be a good topic for a humor piece. This is a strategy I often use when I realize something is bothering me — can I spin it into a humor piece?

I thought it could work well since writer envy is both a common feeling and one I hadn’t seen focused on in humor pieces. There are some common topics for writer-related humor like rejection, so I think finding a unique angle on a topic can help your chances of getting an acceptance.

When I looked at my list of formats I felt like the helpline might work well, so I wrote a draft of the piece.

Drafting and Revisions

In a piece like this one, I try to map the format onto the existing form (in this case a call tree helpline). However, I usually find it better to not *exactly* follow the form. A typical call tree structure is to announce the thing and end with the number choice (e.g. “For help with your existential dread, press 1”).

However, in humor, it’s often better to end a line with a joke, and if each line just ended on a number it would be repetitive. So one thing I tried to do was mix up the endings to get lines like this one:

To hear a recording of your mom listing all the reasons why someone out there might actually be jealous of you, say “Replay middle school pep talk.”

One thing I also debated with the piece was how much of an intro to give it. If I’m writing for a satire-only site I keep it satirical, but if I’m writing a satirical piece for a place that also runs non-satire pieces, I sometimes add (or have had an editor add) an intro that essentially explains that what you are about to read is humor.

I had seen Electric Lit occasionally run humor pieces and was interested in submitting to them, so I decided to aim the piece at them and thought some explanation might be helpful since they are not a satire-online site.

I initially had this intro paragraph when I submitted it:

Writers are, of course, happy to see their friends succeed and other people’s accomplishments can be pretty motivating. But wouldn’t it be great if there was a helpline to assist in your jealousy emergencies?

However, when the editor accepted the piece she worked with me on some edits and one thing she wanted was the intro to just stay in satirical form. So I ended up changing it to this:

You’ve reached the Writer Envy Helpline, where we are happy to assist with all your jealousy emergencies. Our helpline is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and has extra staffing between midnight and 2 a.m., when we always see a surge of calls. Please note that this helpline is intended as a quick fix and is not a replacement for getting therapy or an MFA.

Whether or not you would add a more explanatory intro depends on the pub and editor — but I would not add it to straight satire sites like McSweeney’s or Points in Case.

I also had a writer friend I often trade feedback with give me some notes on it before submitting it (thanks, Sally!).

Because I’m not typically a fast writer and had other stuff going on, this whole process took a while. It looks like I wrote a first draft in March of 2019 and didn’t submit it until July of that year.

Submitting and Publication

When I went to submit the piece to Electric Lit it was not immediately obvious what section it should go to since they don’t have a dedicated humor section and they run humor in different places (including the main site and The Commuter). They have good guidelines on where to send what, so if you have a short story or literary essay you should follow those guidelines.

But humor can be tricky as it sometimes falls under a category of fiction, flash, or essay, depending on the piece. After looking at what sections other humor pieces had run in and reading their submission page, I ended up submitting to the general “editors@” email listed and the site.

I’ve written before about how I have had good luck with general email addresses for submitting when I don’t have a relationship with a pub, and this is one example of that.

The piece was accepted and here is the final version of it.

When the piece got published a lot of people shared it and it did well, but not so well that it made the most-read pieces at the end of the year (Yes, I noticed and yes it would have been helpful if I could call the Writer Envy Helpline at the time). But I was still happy with the way it turned out.

Final Thoughts

If you are looking to write a humor piece in a certain format I think it is also helpful to read other pieces in that format and study how they are working.

Some other helpline pieces include the Toddler Feelings Helpline, The Skin Care Hotline, and You Have Reached The Turning-Thirty Helpline.

Also, Electric Lit does run humor but it tends to be writer or reader-focused since that is the focus of the site. If you are thinking of submitting there, it can be helpful to read previous pieces they’ve run to get a sense of what they are looking for. The most-read pieces from last year are a good place to start.

And if you feel like you sometimes need to call the Writer Envy Helpline, you are in good company.

---

Thanks for reading Humor Me, a newsletter featuring funny stuff and writing tips. In case you’re new here — I’m a humor writer and freelancer whose work has appeared in New Yorker Shouts, McSweeney’s, Real Simple, and more. Find out more about me at julievick.com.

If you’d like to help support Humor Me you can:

• Share, like, or comment on this post to help others find it.

• Buy me a coffee.

• Become a free or paid subscriber:

---