Funny Book Report: How to Dungeon Master Parenting

An interview with Shelly Mazzanoble on her new humor book, D&D, and the long game of publishing

It has been a week and I, for one, have been watching a lot of the British Baking show and wondering what happens to that tent when they aren’t filming. Is there some way they could host an extended writer’s retreat getaway in it? Maybe just with a little cot with warm blankets and retro freezers full of any leftover baked goods? Hopefully, someone can make that happen.

I’ve also been welcoming anything that makes me laugh and

Shelly Mazzanoble

fits that bill. Shelly’s book How to Dungeon Master Parenting: A Guidebook for Gamifying the Child Rearing Quest, Leveling Up Your Skills, and Raising Future Adventurers comes out next week. I read an advance copy of the book and enjoyed the funny and informative take on parenting and Dungeons and Dragons (so much so that I blurbed it).

D&D is new to me as I didn’t play it growing up but my kids have gotten into it (and my middle schooler has also been perusing my copy of the book so maybe think about getting it for a parent-child book club).

Shelly is a humor writer who started playing D&D when she began working for Wizards of the Coast. She has since written several D&D-related books and has helped set up D&D clubs at schools. You may also know her from her funny Substack Middle-Aged Lady Mom.

In the following conversation, we talked about structuring a humor book, book publishing, and a D&D spell for writers.

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As someone who has struggled with the best way to structure a humor book, I’m always curious about how other writers arrive at structure. How did you decide on the structure you used for How to Dungeon Master Parenting?

I really wish I had an elegant answer here, but this book was all over the place. I followed the book proposal and table of contents closely and I was very thankful to have done so much of the planning during the proposal stage. Typically, I’m a planner. I like structure. I like a book to make sense in the proposal phase because that makes it easier for me to write. It’s probably a placebo or a crutch but it’s mine and I’m clinging to it!

The idea was to write it sort of in chronological order on the parenting journey starting with that “Holy crap!” moment when you find out you're pregnant and ending with the acknowledgment there really is no end because this is your life now but hopefully you’re more prepared! 

Even though this book (and other nonfiction books I’ve written) is a collection of essays, I try to imagine it as if I’m telling one long story. Where would I want this story to begin, how can I keep the reader (or listener) interested, where can I dial up the emotion or add a surprise, and of course, how do we give this story a satisfying conclusion? That’s the hardest part for me— ending it! See how long this answer is???

Even writing is a lot like how a Dungeon Master would run a campaign. There is literally nothing Dungeon Masters can’t teach us!

One thing you talk about in the book is the popularity of D&D clubs at schools (and I can report that at my kid’s middle school, the D&D club is very popular). What do you think has led to the increased popularity? Does my theory that the popularity of things like Stranger Things may have contributed to it hold any water?

Amazing, right? Gen Alpha is the most digitally immersed generation in history and yet there’s something unquestionably attractive about a game that takes place face-to-face (traditionally) and involves a pencil, paper, and math. I think it all stems from our basic human need to connect through shared storytelling.

D&D is collaborative which can be a refreshing change for kids who are always feeling like they’re competing either academically, socially, or athletically. Self-discovery and self-expression is also a huge part of the game as you get to create every facet of a hero from how they look to what they do to where they come from and experience new worlds through their eyes and actions. 

You are right about Stranger Things boosting awareness and interest. The best way to learn how to play D&D is to watch it being played. Even if you’re watching those imaginary beasts come to life and destroy your school’s science lab! 

I also credit teachers and other educators who have long recognized the educational benefits of D&D. It’s been called one of the most innovative teaching tools in the world because math, reading, and writing are inherent to playing, as well as honing soft skills like teamwork, listening, empathy, and strategic thinking. Part of what I do at my day job is create tools for teachers and therapists to incorporate D&D into their everyday practices. D&D can make you smarter and happier!

A page from the book. Number 8 really speaks to me.

What is a D&D spell that would be helpful for writers to have?

Bardic Inspiration. Bards are magical masters of art and performance. If you grant Bardic Inspiration to another player mechanically you are giving them an additional die roll to add to their die roll, which could be the difference between success and failure. Inspiration in game comes in the form of music, dance, or words and I think every creative person loves the idea of inspiring someone through their work.  

You’ve written several books now—do you have any advice for aspiring authors about the book writing or publishing process?

Sounds trite perhaps and definitely easier said than done, but you have to keep going. Writing is subjective. Someone’s “no” is another person’s favorite book. I queried agents for years with a book proposal project. YEARS! I was constantly researching, rewriting that damn query letter, going to workshops, getting feedback, resubmitting, waiting, waiting, waiting. Finally, after years of rejections, THREE agents asked for sample chapters-- all within days apart. I guess it’s true when it rains it pours. I signed with one of them and had to kindly reject the other two! It was bananas! 

You also need to have a lot of patience because publishing is the slowest-moving business in the world. Writing a book takes forever! Revisions take forever! Selling a book takes forever! Editing a book takes forever! 

And finally, while you’re working on your manuscript or querying agents and editors, keep finding ways to build your audience. Maybe that’s a Substack newsletter, maybe that’s bylines in other outlets, maybe that’s through speaking engagements. When you finally do sell that book, a built-in audience, and strong network will make the self-promotion part a lot

I love all of that advice. Finally, what is a funny book you recommend?

The funniest people are moms. (I said what I said.) And Natasha Leggero is one of the funniest as evidenced by her book, The World Deserves My Children. Yes, she’s a comedian, actor, and podcaster and therefore very practiced in the humor arts, but she’s also a neurotic, anxious, slightly unhinged mother which makes her totally relatable. Us Weekly was right— Stars are just like us!

Each essay in this collection is funny, endearing, and rooted in real-world fears all moms obsess over like geriatric pregnancies or the possible collapse of civilization before your child is old enough to legally rent a car.

You know— the heady stuff all moms crave to take their minds off boring things like clogged milk ducts and Googling “where to buy more of those high-waisted, meshy, hospital-issued underpants.” (I really loved those underpants and still think about them so if you got a lead on where one might procure mesh underwear I’m all ears.)

Forget the burp cloths and butt creams. Be the real hero of the baby shower and arm moms-to-be with this literary must-have.

Thanks for these great answers, Shelly! Get Shelly’s book, check out her Substack and find her on Instagram at @shellymoo.

Also please enjoy number 2 in my series of “Julie attempts to take photos of a book with a cat”:

Muffin is interested in becoming a dungeon master. Biscuit is interested in something in the corner.

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Thanks for reading Humor Me, a newsletter featuring funny stuff and writing tips. In case you’re new here — I’m a humor writer and freelancer whose work has appeared in New Yorker Shouts, McSweeney’s, Real Simple, and more. I’m the author of a humorous advice book for introverted parents that would make a great gift for the new or expecting parent in your life. Find out more about me at julievick.com.

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