55 Comments

"Out, damned Spot!" – Shakespeare after buying a new puppy

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I'm "I do a little dance when friends cancel plans with me" years old.

And these are the people I like.

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RELATE!

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I am "when I exercise, my joints hurt more than my muscles" years old.

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Me, too! 😂

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I am "Be kind, rewind" years old.

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Yep, me too!

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I am "young enough to injure myself, not young enough to recover" years old.

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I am "Oh damn 'Married... with Children' was a documentary not a sitcom" years old.

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I am “anxious about my tamagotchi being dead when I get home from school” years old

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Oh this hits hard! RIP tamagotchi

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I am “Looks around and wonders what the fuck I’m doing in this nightclub—I could be their mom” years old.

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Same although maybe actually just shudders at the thought of the word "nightclub" years old.

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I’m pretty much there too. Haha.

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RELATE!! But I don't even try going anymore because I am "every day is sweatpants day" years old.

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I’m “subtitles on everything even with the volume on high but that’s what everyone does, right?” years old.

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I do this too but now I want to know if everyone is doing it too 😂

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Me, too, and also “how did I ever watch TV without subtitles?!”

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Once you go subtitles, you'll never go back!

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Haha! Right!

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“I’m just SO desperate.”

- Man to woman, coffee shop speed dating

(hold it together, man)

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Oh no 😂. Things you shouldn't say at a speed dating event.

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I didn't even overhear this, the poor woman just told me about it when I switched over to her table. It was a rough event for everybody.

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I am “watching my robot vacuum clean the floor on a Saturday night while getting annoyed that it’s missed some spots” years old.

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I am " It's not worth the migraine tomorrow by having a drink tonight" years old.

*sips on my market spice tea instead*

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Yep, same!

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I am "Your top playlist this year was 'White Noise, Looped' years old"

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"I am gonna make him an offer he can't refuse" I tell my Mom as we both watch our Dog.

He turns his head away.

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I am "I pumped gas on Rte 66 for 26 cents a gallon as a teenager" years old.

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I am “talking on my Conair clear phone with a Delia’s catalog” years old.

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