“I think that the desire to write comes from the constant feeling of imbalance in our lives and that writing, itself, is a way of seeking balance.” So beautifully said.
My kids are 8, 5, 2 and so there aren't really any good answers, is my experience. But I think it's been basically good for me to see that while a lot of other things have fallen aside since I've become a parent, writing isn't one of them. Like, OK, I do this! And I guess I always will. That's been good to know.
So much good advice here! Thanks for including me. I agree with the points that it’s going to look different for everyone and that it can also, surprisingly, be a productive time, even if we have to fit our writing into strange pockets.
I used to write fiction and sadly my way of keeping that alive after I had kids was NOT AT ALL. I have always managed to keep all the other kinds of writing going (for work mostly) but could obviously never achieve the full-on, hide-in-cave level of time/space immersion it required to write anything as crazy as a novel. So the older my kids get, the more I'm reactivating that possibility - baby steps by even being here on this platform - but someday, maybe when they go to college? - long-repressed novels will just start seeping out of me. Or maybe they won't and it would be ok, because somehow I did always keep writing, just never the way I might have imagined, and it might be fine or even better cuz here I am!
I feel like I also have projects I feel like I just don’t have the focus time for until my kids are older too. I think what I work on definitely evolved!
I work best in large uninterrupted chunks (as does everyone I suppose) so when I've had big writing projects that are on a strict deadline (like my dissertation), I'd find a basic hotel on Priceline and have a mini-writing retreat at a hotel. For $80 bucks and money for snacks, it was cheaper than finding childcare sometimes. Obviously this only works because I have a partner who is super supportive and an equal co-parent of the kids. Maybe that is the tip? If you have a partner, have one who is also committed to you finding time to write.
I love this idea and always want to do it but somehow haven't yet. I also remember hearing a writer say that she organized a simultaneous retreat with a few friends where they all got their own rooms during the day to write but then met up for dinner in the evening and this also sounds amazing. And yes, agreed, a supportive partner goes a long way in helping to get writing done!
It's comforting to know there are a many of us writers sitting in cars, or on benches, jotting down ideas while waiting for some class our child is in to be over! I think my favorite tip is Liz Alterman's asking her kids to help describe an older woman's dining room or getting them to read the first few chapters - genuis! 😆 (And thank you for including me as well - the only drawback from the noise-canceling headphones is the jump scare when they come up from behind!)
It is comforting to think of us all finding ways to get it done, and I appreciate the extra cautionary tip on the headphones. I somehow have not managed to get myself a good pair yet and I need to remedy that soon.
Best way I've found for myself is to get out of the house. Otherwise, even if all is quiet, I'm constantly on the alert. I can't focus knowing at any moment someone might claim my attention.
Before kids I could work in two hour blocks before work. The writing was more in depth. After kids, I write in the rare downtime at work and the very rare occasion they are asleep or occupied.
“I think that the desire to write comes from the constant feeling of imbalance in our lives and that writing, itself, is a way of seeking balance.” So beautifully said.
Agreed. It's a nice to reframe it as part of it, I think.
My kids are 8, 5, 2 and so there aren't really any good answers, is my experience. But I think it's been basically good for me to see that while a lot of other things have fallen aside since I've become a parent, writing isn't one of them. Like, OK, I do this! And I guess I always will. That's been good to know.
Yep -- the fact that you are just getting it done in whatever shape or form is good, I think.
These are all great! I am right there with Marika in trying to decipher my voice memos :) ! Thank you for including me!
Of course! Thanks for giving the perspective with older kids too. Looking forward to turning mine into writing and marketing assistants. 😂
So much good advice here! Thanks for including me. I agree with the points that it’s going to look different for everyone and that it can also, surprisingly, be a productive time, even if we have to fit our writing into strange pockets.
Of course! Strangely productive is a good way to describe it I think :)
I used to write fiction and sadly my way of keeping that alive after I had kids was NOT AT ALL. I have always managed to keep all the other kinds of writing going (for work mostly) but could obviously never achieve the full-on, hide-in-cave level of time/space immersion it required to write anything as crazy as a novel. So the older my kids get, the more I'm reactivating that possibility - baby steps by even being here on this platform - but someday, maybe when they go to college? - long-repressed novels will just start seeping out of me. Or maybe they won't and it would be ok, because somehow I did always keep writing, just never the way I might have imagined, and it might be fine or even better cuz here I am!
I feel like I also have projects I feel like I just don’t have the focus time for until my kids are older too. I think what I work on definitely evolved!
These are brilliant! I’m also excited to discover the work of the contributors so thank you for sharing.🙏🥰
Of course -- thank you!
I work best in large uninterrupted chunks (as does everyone I suppose) so when I've had big writing projects that are on a strict deadline (like my dissertation), I'd find a basic hotel on Priceline and have a mini-writing retreat at a hotel. For $80 bucks and money for snacks, it was cheaper than finding childcare sometimes. Obviously this only works because I have a partner who is super supportive and an equal co-parent of the kids. Maybe that is the tip? If you have a partner, have one who is also committed to you finding time to write.
I love this idea and always want to do it but somehow haven't yet. I also remember hearing a writer say that she organized a simultaneous retreat with a few friends where they all got their own rooms during the day to write but then met up for dinner in the evening and this also sounds amazing. And yes, agreed, a supportive partner goes a long way in helping to get writing done!
It's comforting to know there are a many of us writers sitting in cars, or on benches, jotting down ideas while waiting for some class our child is in to be over! I think my favorite tip is Liz Alterman's asking her kids to help describe an older woman's dining room or getting them to read the first few chapters - genuis! 😆 (And thank you for including me as well - the only drawback from the noise-canceling headphones is the jump scare when they come up from behind!)
It is comforting to think of us all finding ways to get it done, and I appreciate the extra cautionary tip on the headphones. I somehow have not managed to get myself a good pair yet and I need to remedy that soon.
This all such great advice! Enjoyed reading this.
Thank you! Glad to hear that.
Best way I've found for myself is to get out of the house. Otherwise, even if all is quiet, I'm constantly on the alert. I can't focus knowing at any moment someone might claim my attention.
Yes! I feel like if I can get out of the house to focus somewhere else that is ideal for me too.
Before kids I could work in two hour blocks before work. The writing was more in depth. After kids, I write in the rare downtime at work and the very rare occasion they are asleep or occupied.
It definitely does change what and when you can write.