46 Comments

FWIW - I loved the panel last week! I thought you had great questions that provoked thoughtful answers. Awesome job!!

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Thank you! It was great to meet you too :)

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I've wanted to try standup for a while...

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You should! I know some writers who just started doing it recently and are liking it.

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It's another avenue for writing, right? If one can get past the sheer terror...

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Yes, for sure. I feel like there is a lot of craft behind it (if you can get past the terror thing) although based on the comedy memoirs I've read I think a lot of standups are nervous before performing.

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These are really great tips! I've been thinking about making a video with public speaking tips from a performer, and #1 on my list will definitely be "prepare, prepare, prepare." There's a reason why performers rehearse for so long before a show opens. We get nervous too, and it helps so much to have muscle memory to fall back on!

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I love that and would definitely watch that video!

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Beta-blockers! I used to be paralysed with fear before presentations. My doctor prescribed me some beta-blockers to take before my weekly presentations. I took them three times. Then muscle memory kicked in and was brave enough to fly solo. Psychosomatic? Maybe! Who cares?

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That's great that it got you over the fear hump!

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Preparing like no one is watching is my jam, but I've had to learn to not front-load the over-thinking part. If I let my little brain go, I'll imagine every worst possible scenario which is less than helpful when quelling anxiety. I also like to set the bar low by practicing whatever I'm reading to my cat, who is easily the worst audience for whom I've ever had the privilege of performing.

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I get that on the worst case scenario thing (and I like to frequently remind myself of the wise words of Tom Petty that "Most things I worry about, never happen anyway.)" And I love the cat tip, which I am going to try out!

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I liked both of those books-- Jessica's and Shonda's. I agree with you on the prep. I'm much more nervous when I've decided to lean more towards winging it.

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Yes they are both great! And agree, I think some people are more comfortable winging it but I am not :)

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So much of this spoke to me, Julie. Thank you for sharing it!

I'm and over-preparer AND an over thinker as well. Recently, I attempted to HOST my first ever podcast. I prepared like crazy. Rehearsed my intro. Sent questions to my guest ahead of time. THEN when we got into the interview, everything I prepared went out the window, we got off topic A LOT, and I felt like I was scrambling to reclaim my prepared format. It ended up making me more anxious than I would have thought - and has left me to wonder if I might do better on the spot than I give myself credit for. 😂 I think it might depend on the situation and how comfortable you are with the people you're speaking to as well. I was a stage actress and a musician for years, so I've performed a lot. It doesn't really make a dent in the butterflies that come with showing up strictly as YOURSELF without a memorized script or a handy bass guitar to keep your fidgety hands busy. 😉

The late in the day events always kill me. That's theater and music as well. It throws my whole day off when I have something looming after dinner. And a hair/fashion crisis is inevitable. Even for a Zoom meeting. 🙄

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Oh I completely get that! I think sometimes it is better to throw the prepared questions out and just go where the discussion leads you for things like a podcast but also I always like to stick to the plan and then if I don't get to a question that I want to, I do the post-event overthinking. There is definitely a learning curve!

And that's a good point as showing up as yourself vs in theater/acting situation. I think there is just a different level of self-consciousness at play!

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Well done! And we're in sync - I also wrote about public speaking nerves in this week's newsletter. I'm sure you nailed it :-) But yes, Overthinking is a Thing.

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Oh nice, great minds think alike!

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I am one of the exceptions to the rule. I enjoy public speaking.

Here's my post on the subject:

https://richardskorupskiauthor.substack.com/p/some-authors-are-introverts-im-not?utm_source=profile&utm_medium=reader2

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I know some other authors who are extroverts too!

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I used to despise public speaking, and then I took acting lessons. I discovered my fear of speaking in public magically disappeared! I'm still an actor and I love speaking to groups.

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I love that!

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Dressing and dealing with hair (which is going to look different every 5 minutes for the hours leading up to an event—talk about no control) are the worst parts for me. Third place goes to scripting and memorizing one’s own book premise/ summary while trying to make it sound less than rote. Argggghhhhh!

I agree that late mornings would be easier than evening given the all-day wind-up. Argggh again!

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Yes, hair is a whole other thing because my default style is messy bun and no makeup!

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My advice would be, if you can possibly stand in the spot (or sit on the empty panel) where you will be speaking beforehand for a moment, it will give you a sense of familiarity when the time comes to do it for real, which is comforting.

Mr.D and I used this trick to great effect when we were on Dragon’s Den (the UK’s Shark Tank), they let us walk out of the fake lift and stand facing the five empty chairs beforehand, really helpful. 👍

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Oh that is a great tip! I think if you can get a feel for things that way beforehand it can be helpful. And now I am curious to hear more about Dragon's Den!

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Love all of this. Needed it, too! Thank you.

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Of course! Thanks for reading :)

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I love this Seinfeld quote. In college, taking a public speaking course was a requirement and I put it off as long as possible. These are great tips, thank you! If you ever do brunch-time stand-up, I'm there!!

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I also put off taking public speaking forever. And I am impressed that you are trying stand-up! Looking forward to Erma's got talent and talking to you more about it. I feel like Erma is such a great venue to do stand-up too :)

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You're so kind! I'm lucky in that the instructor and my classmates are all so nice and supportive. That said, you may see me clutching my emotional support cats at the Erma audition :)

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I would be happy to see any emotional support cats!

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Their timing is already better than mine! 😹

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I have this issue with my writing. I want to share it but I am also crushingly embarassed by the act of sharing it.

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I get that and still feel that way about sharing certain pieces but I feel like I've gotten better about it (perhaps just from exposure therapy of sharing more?) I think sharing a lot of silly jokes on Twitter helped me a bit with getting over the fear of sharing, but I still do get it with certain things.

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Jerry 😅 The last bit of public speaking I did was a eulogy, in fact. For my brother. I'm not afraid to show emotion, even at more everyday events, but that day carried extra weight and pressure of course. Was I going to fall apart like Roman in Succession with all that remained unsaid?

What to do? I focused on one thing above all and that was to present a fitting tribute to him in the form of a story. I'd done the work – research, reflection, write, rewrite. This is going to go well dammit, I told myself. The occasion could have been overwhelming. Instead, I told myself I will be galvanised.

On a more practical level, making eye contact with a few people in the audience can be grounding. And never underestimate the power of the pause. Take a sip, if you can.

To riff on something you mentioned in the piece, tell yourself this is going to go better than you think. And you'll rise to it.

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So sorry to hear about your brother but that sounds like a great way to approach it and I think eulogies are so hard in a different way.

I am also trying to get better at eye contact (something I am currently not great at).

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Thanks Julie. I'm not sure whether being an earnest writer made it easier or harder. It became an assignment. My mum's was even harder but I'm very proud of those two pieces of work.

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